Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Where Did Mom Go? By: Madison
One day, there were some children playing outside. It started raining, so they went inside. Their mom was gone. They said, "Where did she go?" They had never been by themselves before. It scared them to think they were alone. They called their mom. Nobody answered them. They decided to search the house. They said, "Let's split up." They all went different ways. One went upstairs to look in the bedrooms. One searched the kitchen under the table. The other searched the living room behind the couch. Then, they found a note on the refridgerator. They read it. It said, "I will be home soon. I had to go to the store. I love you. Mom." After they read the note, they felt relieved that Mom was going to be back soon. It quit raining, so they went back outside. Their mom came home, and they went to help her unload the car and took the groceries inside the house. They were glad their mom was back where she belonged.
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4 comments:
Hi Madison,
Great story. You had me on the edge of my seat wondering where mom was. Keep up the good work.
Mary
Hi Madison,
I really liked your story----the suspense and the good outcome. I'll look forward to another story.
I enjoyed your story, Madison. I especially liked how the kids searched under the table and behind the couch. I also loved how you used the word "relieved." I'm really glad that Mom was only at the store and that the kids helped her carry groceries. Nice story!
Madison,
We loved the mystery in your story. We wanted it to last longer. When we read the title, we thought she had gone to China or somewhere far away. You surprised us when you let us know she was at the store. You could rewrite the middle and make it a longer mystery. We think this was a great story and wanted more.
Mrs. Arthur's third grade
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